I Sit, And God Moves

I have grown to cherish the morning.

There is something about being there at the beginning, just sitting there to let the day come to me in its perfect time. No phone, no clock, not even my journal at first. Sometimes with a cup in my hand, and sometimes not. It's a routine with no regimented rules.

Just me following a God-given instruction I received in the early days of the pandemic...

Be still....and know

A well-known, much loved bible verse since I was a teenager. I even have the plaque up on my wall.

But through the years, life — career, marriage, being a mom (and then a single mom), and being the one so many others looked to for so much — made "being still and knowing" much easier said than done.

In fact, it had kind of become one more thing on my daily "To Do" list that I failed miserably at achieving.

Then came that fateful morning in 2020. I woke up to start my day with prayer, the way I usually do. Yup, that's me in a nutshell — trying to do the usual in the middle of the most UNUSUAL, NOT NORMAL days the world will ever experience in my lifetime (hopefully)!!!

In the midst of some of the most wearying days of my life, I'm looking for things... scrounging for things to be grateful for because, God forbid, I dare complain when so many are going through so much worse.

But this time, before I could open my mouth, a voice gave me pause —

"Ah ah ah — don't say anyone else's name. Before you come to me about anything or anybody else, How are you?"

I was slightly shook, and before I could respond God softly, gently continued —

"Myshjua, don't you know that if you were the only girl in the world I would still make sure the sun came up just for you?"

God spoke to me, and not to tell me I was in trouble.

That morning, God took the time to let me know that He saw me — and not just the good stuff I was giving the people around me. He saw the pain and the weight and the grief. And He wanted me to know, right there in the stillness of the morning, that I mean as much to Him as all the people I pray for.

Now, morning is my BE STILL AND KNOW time. The part of the day when God's voice comes in loudest and clearest. Before the noise of the world starts to interfere.

Sitting in the silence — no, not the silence, the peace — I feel like I have God's full attention. But the truth is that I know I always have God's attention. His eye is on the sparrow, and His spirit literally lives within me.

God's presence and attention is never in question. The first thing in the morning is when God gets my full attention.

The rest of my house, and most of the world, is still asleep. So I can sit with God without interruption or outside demands for my ears, my eyes, my mind, or my heart. I can give it all to him... for me.

I know he hears me. And He says I am just as important to Him as everyone and everything else that I bring into his presence to pray for.

He lets me trade it all for His vision and version of my life — which is way, way better than anything I can come up with on my own.

Even though I know all the reasons why it's important, it's still a struggle for me sometimes. In the busyness and chaos of this world, there's a nudge to keep it moving.

But when I just sit, I know I'm following His direction — even though at first I sometimes feel like I don't have time to sit.

Contrary to what that "other voice" likes to insinuate, I'm not "procrastinating," "dodging reality", or "doing nothing." I am sitting with God.

Sitting still lets me see how God moves. An instant of stillness in God's presence makes whatever I do next so much more powerful.

And I need that power for the times we are in. God's grace abounds. But when I sit with Him in the stillness of the in-between, God's presence has the power to shift me into alignment.

Jesus sat with God, and he always came off that meditation mountain ready for whatever came next.

So now, the divine order of my day has changed. Before the prayers, before the affirmations, and even before the worship music, comes the stillness.

I sit, and God moves.